Healing from Shame After Childhood Sexual Abuse

Shame is one of the most painful and persistent wounds survivors carry. It can linger long after the abuse has ended, shaping how you see yourself, how you relate to others, and how you move through the world. Shame whispers that you were responsible, that you should have done something differently, that you are somehow “broken” or “too much.” None of those things are true, but shame has a way of feeling believable.

Healing from shame begins with understanding something essential: shame is not a reflection of who you are. It is a survival response. When children experience trauma, especially abuse, their nervous system often protects them by turning blame inward. It feels safer to believe, “It must have been me,” than to face the terrifying truth that someone who should have protected you caused harm.

Why Shame Shows Up for Survivors

For many survivors, shame shows up in quiet, everyday ways:

• Avoiding certain memories, places, or conversations

• Feeling unworthy of love or connection

• Believing you have to hide parts of yourself to feel safe

• Carrying a constant sense of guilt or self-doubt

Shame does not mean you did something wrong. It means something wrong was done to you. A therapist who works with childhood sexual abuse therapy in Toronto understands how deeply rooted this shame can be and how important it is to approach it with care and compassion.

How Therapy Helps You Heal from Shame

Therapy creates a space where your story can be spoken, or even just held, without judgment. A skilled therapist will help you:

• Understand the origins of shame

  You learn why your mind and body responded the way they did and how those patterns formed.

• Separate your identity from your trauma

  You were never at fault. Therapy helps reinforce this truth until it begins to feel real.

• Build self-compassion and emotional gentleness

  Healing is not about “getting over it.” It is about honouring yourself with the same kindness you would offer someone you love.

• Reclaim your voice and your boundaries

  Shame often silences survivors. Therapy helps you regain a sense of agency and self-worth.

Healing does not mean forgetting. It means releasing the belief that what happened defines you.

A Final Note

Shame thrives in silence, but it loses power when met with understanding and support. You deserve a space where your experiences are met with respect, care, and truth. With the right therapeutic support, healing from shame becomes possible, one gentle step at a time. You are not alone, and you are not to blame.

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About the Author Karen MacKeigan, RP (Qualifying), RSSW, is a trauma-informed Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) and Registered Social Service Worker based in Toronto. With over five years of experience supporting adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse through her work at The Gatehouse, Karen brings an empathetic, client-centered approach to psychotherapy. She draws from a variety of therapeutic modalities to create a warm, safe, and collaborative space where clients feel heard and supported. Karen holds a BA in Psychology, an MA in Counselling Psychology, and diplomas in both Early Childhood Education and Addiction and Mental Health.

Learn more about Karen